Names and identifying details of every student here are changed, as they are everywhere on the blog.
Okay so Oksana has my four o’clock and she is angry in that quiet way, because she wrote to her daughter’s teacher about the math grade and got back three sentences with an exclamation mark and a smiley, and nothing about the grade. Her words, a wall of nice. And she asks me whether the woman is laughing at her.
No. That is just how the letter looks here, and this is the part that took me years, so we went through it between the base coat and the top coat.
Nice at both ends
Warm opening, the thing itself, warm again at the close, and the thing itself is one clause somewhere in the middle. That middle clause, back home, was the whole letter, no wrapping on it. So the parent goes through the American letter looking for the matter and decides there isn’t one, and the teacher goes through the letter we were raised to write, matter and nothing else, and marks that parent down as angry.
My mother wrote to my teachers like she was filing a complaint with the city, and that was normal, that is how everyone wrote. I still start every email here three times.
Those warm parts are the envelope. The letter is inside it.
Asking so you get an answer
That first letter asked how the girl is doing, which is the question that produces the wall, because nobody can answer it in two lines. We wrote the second one between two clients, and it was three lines with one question in it, which skill should we practice at home until winter break, plus a subject line that said what it was about.
She sent it from the parking lot. The answer came that evening, with a photo of the last quiz attached, and the grade turned out to be a missing assignment, which is usually what it turns out to be.
Say an answer still gives you nothing, and the move is a request for one example out of the child’s work. Teachers receive that well, I think, since it is answered from the folder on their desk and no meeting has to be arranged.
Conferences run 15 minutes
At Oksana’s school the fall conference came in slots of 15 minutes, nothing at all, so what a parent intends to take away from it gets written down before the door opens. Ours at home were open evenings where you stood in line and the teacher told you in front of other parents what your child was doing wrong. Different sport entirely.
Three questions, one example of the work, one thing to do at home, and that is a full 15 minutes. Oksana went in with hers written on the back of an envelope and came out with a plan for the fall.
And the conference is one occasion of several, anyway. A short call or a meeting is requested at any point of the year, and no one thinks less of a parent for that.
Her question about the interpreter
So she puts her hand flat on the towel and asks me, in Russian, whether requesting an interpreter goes into some file and lands on the daughter later. Which is the actual fear, and nobody at the school ever hears it.
Out came my phone right there, her other hand still in the bowl. What it says is that the school carries this one, under Title VI of the Civil Rights Act, and a parent who does not have much English is supposed to get the information in a language she really follows. A federal letter used to spell out the day-to-day version, and it came off the site in August of 2025. The spelling out is gone and the law is where it was, and that, honestly, is not a distinction for a mother to be working out at a front desk.
California has Education Code 48985 on top of that. Where one primary language other than English is shared by 15 percent or more of the students at a school, notices to parents are sent in that language as well, and a parent answers in whichever of the two suits.
The interpreter, then, is an ordinary request, and the arranging of it belongs to the school. Put a 10-year-old in the middle of a conversation about her own grades and you have an impossible situation, which I have watched at a school office.
The asking happens at booking, not on the day. Ordinary thing to ask for, Title VI behind it.
First email goes to the teacher
Teacher first, always, even if the thing you are deeply angry about doesn’t belong to her at all but belongs to the school. If nothing moves after that, then the principal, or whatever assistant principal gets involved. Going over her head on day one is what makes the next six months unbearable, because at home the person with the title was the person who made the decisions.
Names catch people out. Ms. Carter and Mr. Diaz, surname, until the day she signs an email with her first name, and from then on you copy that. Teacher on its own, the way we say it at home, does not work here as a way of addressing anyone. And a reply comes inside a school day or two, so the same email again after three hours reads like pressure.
What went on the second receipt
- A subject line that names the subject, with the child’s name after it.
- One question, three lines, no history of the family.
- Ask for one example from the child’s work.
- Say what you will practice at home and ask if that is the right thing.
- Request an interpreter when you book the meeting, if you want one.
- Wait two school days before following up.
Oksana still thinks the smiley was unnecessary. Bueno, on that one I agree with her.
Courses at Palme School
Russian for bilingual children
When a kid understands Russian and answers in English
School of reading
Reading and writing for kids who already speak Russian
Free materials
Things to print and do at the kitchen table
The conversation at home has its own drift, by the way, and it goes the other direction, because the longer the school day is in English the shorter the Russian gets. Palme School takes children from four years old, online, in small groups, 40 minutes to a lesson. The start is two sessions at no cost, a conversation with a methodologist and then a trial lesson inside a group. A child who follows Russian and comes back at you in English wants Russian for bilingual children, and a child whose speech is fine and whose reading stalls on the page wants the reading school.
Frequently asked questions
Yes. Under Title VI of the Civil Rights Act, schools must communicate with parents who have limited English in a language they understand, and that covers meetings where your child’s schooling is discussed. Ask the school office when you book the meeting.
In California, Education Code 48985 requires notices to parents to be sent in a language other than English when 15 percent or more of the students at that school speak it as their primary language, and parents may respond in either language. Federal rules also require meaningful communication with parents who have limited English.
No. Ask the school for an interpreter instead. The obligation to communicate with you belongs to the school, not to your child, and Title VI is the law behind it. Ask the school office or the district’s family services line to arrange an interpreter.
Teachers usually answer within a school day or two. If nothing comes back after that, a short follow-up is normal, and so is calling the school office.
Palme School: Russian for bilingual children · School of reading · Free materials for families
Monica Perez moved to Los Angeles from Rosario, Argentina. She interacts a lot with Russian-speaking women at her nail salon, so she has a wealth of knowledge about Russian culture and the secrets that women from Russia keep to themselves.
