Situation of success: What it is and how it affects the child

You have brilliantly completed a work project. Your colleagues are thrilled, your boss in a meeting recognized your contribution to the company and gave you a bonus. How will you feel? Will you have the excitement inside, the desire to work even more effectively? Of course it will. This is how a success situation works.

It works the same way with children. If a child understands a school topic, gets an excellent grade after several bad ones, hears a teacher's approval, sees admiration of classmates - all this spurs him to do something even better, brighter, more difficult.

What is a situation of success?

Success is when the outcome we seek meets or exceeds our expectations. A situation of success is a combination of conditions that ensure success.

A child who finds himself or herself in a situation of success, feels elated and has wings behind his or her back. It means that further actions he will perform with more ease and interest.

What happens if a child fails at something for a long time?

The situation of failure is the flip side. Lack of success upsets the child, makes him/her sad, and makes him/her stop believing in himself/herself. Children consider themselves losers and give up trying to do anything. Even the simplest action that was easy to do before becomes more difficult. Without a sense of success, the child loses interest in lessons.

Once in a situation of failure, it is difficult for a child to get out of it. And here the support of parents is very necessary.

How to help your child be in a situation of success?

• If your child has been failing at something for a long time, lower the bar. Give an activity that is easier, perhaps even too easy.
• Sincerely praise for small victories. Allow the child to be in a situation where no one is demanding more from him or her (yet!).
• Express confidence that the child is sure to do well. "I know you can do it, because you've done it before" or "It'll work, I have no doubt" are magic phrases.
• Tell me where to start and what to do. Just don't give a clear instruction, but express a wish. Let the child make a good decision on his own. This will encourage him.
• Remind him or her of his or her motives, why he or she is doing it and what the result will be.
• Show the child's exceptionalism, for example, "You're one of the best who could do it."
• Evaluate the specific detail of the task. For example, "The thing I liked most about you was how confident you were."

The famous American scientist, psychologist, psychotherapist and educator W. Glasser is convinced that if a child is successful in cognitive activities, then he has every chance of success in life.