Moving is more than just a change of address. For a child, it's a new school, unfamiliar faces, different rules, and the complete absence of what was familiar, all at once. Adults often don't realize how much this is for one person, say, a seven-year-old.
And at this moment, many parents switch to English. With the best of intentions: so it's easier for the child, so they fit in faster, so as not to confuse them. But it is now that the child needs the Russian language, perhaps, more than anything else.
Not as an academic discipline. As something stable in an unstable world.
Why is Russian so important after moving
When everything around is foreign, language becomes the only space where a child feels like themselves. Not the one who doesn't understand the teacher. Not the one who speaks with an accent and searches for words. Just themselves: at home, with their people, with their words.
Psychologists working with children in emigration have long noticed this: those who maintain their native language during the adaptation period cope with changes more stably. Not because the language magically reduces anxiety. But because it provides continuity: the child understands that something has remained the same, I am being heard, I can name this.
And that which can be named is no longer so frightening.
Talking about change is not easy in any language. Especially if you're a parent going through it: tired, carrying the weight of daily life in a foreign city, not fully understanding your own feelings.
You don't need to look for the right moment or prepare the conversation in advance. Just say out loud what's happening. In the car, during meals, on the way home from school.
- «You were quiet today. Were you missing someone?»
- «This school is different, right? What don't you understand about it yet?»
- «It feels strange here to me sometimes too. That's normal.
A short phrase in Russian during an ordinary moment of the day achieves more than a long conversation behind closed doors.
How to start talking about change
There are words that children need especially during times of change. Not difficult words, but simple ones. But without them, it's hard to describe what's going on inside.
I miss it. Not things, but people, smells, the way it was.
Strange. When something is neither good nor bad, just completely different.
I'm afraid. Not of danger, but of the unknown.
I'm getting used to it. It's taking time, it's normal, it's not the end or a failure.
I remember. The past is gone, it's just inside now.
If a child hears these words from you and knows them in Russian, they understand that what they are feeling can be named. That's already half the job done.
A family from Moscow moved to Vancouver when their daughter was six years old. For the first few months, the girl almost stopped speaking both Russian and English, she was simply silent. The pediatrician said it was a normal reaction to stress. Every evening, the mother started telling her daughter stories from her own childhood, without any specific purpose or lesson, just to have a voice and language nearby. After a few weeks, the daughter began to ask questions. Then she started telling her mother things in response. Conversation returned.
Another mother, who moved to New York with her nine-year-old son, came up with a simple game. Every evening, they took turns naming one «new» thing and one «familiar» thing from their day. In Russian. «New» meant something that appeared for the first time. «Familiar» meant something that reminded them of home. At first, the son would answer with just one word. After a month, his «familiar» took five minutes to describe.
A few things that really help
Don't demand «correct» words. If a child says «I was uncomfortable» instead of «awkward,» pick up on it: "Awkward, yes, I understand." They'll remember without a harsh correction.
Talk about your feelings too. «I felt lonely today» doesn't sound like weakness, but like an example for a child. The child sees: an adult names their states in Russian, and it's safe.
Read books about change together. Dragunsky's stories, Kozlov's fairy tales, and stories about «things became different» show how characters go through changes. This is not a lesson, but a conversation through someone else's story, which is sometimes easier.
Don't rush. «Are you used to it yet?» sounds like pressure. «How are you doing now?» is a question you can answer honestly.
Changes don't end with the move. A new school, new friends, and new rules become a constant backdrop to a child's life in emigration. And the Russian language can be not just something to preserve, but a tool through which a child learns to talk about what is happening to them.
This is perhaps more important than any grammar.
What can a parent do right now
At Palme School, we're helping children not only to speak Russian, but also to feel confident in the language. If this approach resonates with you, you can sign up for a trial lesson and see if the format is suitable for your family.
