You have finished a work project brilliantly. Your colleagues are delighted, your boss at a meeting recognized your contribution to the company and gave you a bonus. How will you feel? Will there be excitement inside you, a desire to work even more efficiently? Of course you will. That's how success works.
It works the same way with children. If a child understands a school topic, gets an excellent grade after several bad ones, hears the teacher's approval, sees the admiration of his classmates - all this encourages him to do something even better, brighter, more difficult.
What is a situation of success
Success is when the outcome we seek matches or exceeds our expectations. A success situation is a combination of conditions that ensure success.
A child who finds himself in a situation of success feels a mental boost, as if he has wings growing behind him. This means that he/she will perform further actions with greater ease and interest.
What happens when a child fails to do something for a long time
The situation of failure is the opposite of success. Lack of success upsets the child, makes him/her sad, makes him/her stop believing in himself/herself. Children consider themselves failures and give up trying to do something. Even the simplest action, which was easy before, becomes more difficult to do. Without a sense of success, the child loses interest in activities.
Once in a situation of failure, it can be difficult for a child to get out of it. This is where parental support is essential.
How to help your child to be in a situation of success
- If your child doesn't succeed at something for a long time, lower the bar. Give an activity that is easier, perhaps even too easy.
- Give sincere praise for small victories. Put your child in a situation where no one (yet!) demands more from him/her.
- Express your conviction that the child will definitely be able to do the task. "I know you can do it because you've done it before" or "It will work, I have no doubt" are magic phrases.
- Advice on where to start and what to do. But do not give a clear instruction, but express a wish. Let the child make a good decision on his own. This will encourage him.
- Remind him of his motives, why he is doing it and what will be the result.
- Show the child's exceptionalism, e.g., "You're one of the best who could do it."
- Evaluate a specific detail of the task performance. For example, "What I liked most was how confident you were.
The famous American scientist, psychologist, psychotherapist and educator W. Glasser is convinced that if a child succeeds in cognitive activities, he or she has every chance of success in life.